When The Tables Turn
by thewaywelivenow
Summary: Craig is unsure what to do. He's confused over his feelings for John Paul and the arrival of Spike into his friend's life leaves him feeling more confused than ever. Will he find out what his feelings mean, and, if so, will he act on them?
1. Craig

He was stood outside 'Drive 'N Buy', his eyes boring into the ground beneath his feet. He pushed his hands deeper into the pockets of his trousers and sighed. Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did _his_ life have to be so complicated? He remembered what life was like only a year ago, when everything was much simpler. Then, all he had to think about was what new scheme to think of next or how to make Darren pay for sleeping with his girlfriend. But times had changed drastically and the time he had spent wishing Darren dead felt like a world away. And, he mused, it was, because that was before John Paul.

He heard a noise to the left of him and looked up slowly. The door to Drive 'N Buy was opening. He shifted slightly against the shop wall he was leaning on and saw John Paul step on to the ground beside him. He was carrying two cans of some drinkable substance, one of which he handed to him. Craig took the drink with a small smile and returned to staring at the floor, muttering "Thanks."

"Shall we?" John Paul asked, motioning behind him with his thumb.

Craig nodded, still keeping his head down.

They walked slowly for a few moments with only the soft hiss of them opening their drink cans for company.

Craig brought his can to his lips to take a small swig of the liquid within. He glanced to his right where John Paul was walking. He was smiling. A small, almost invisible smile that betrayed he was thinking of something else. Or, to be precise, someone else.

Craig coughed on the small amount of drink still in his mouth and John Paul looked at him in concern. He wiped his mouth, held the can to his side and looked at John Paul.

"So, are you and Spike…you know?" he muttered, hoping he sounded simply curious at this new event in his friend's life.

"Are me and Spike what?" asked John Paul, bemused.

"You know," Craig encouraged gruffly, wafting the drink enclosed hand in front of him as if that would help explain his question. Did John Paul want him to spell it out?

"No, I don't know," John Paul said slowly and he stopped walking.

Craig stood still. He wanted to find out the answer to his question but he didn't want John Paul to think he cared about the answer.

"You know…dating?" Craig said quickly, bringing the can to his mouth again as to take a sip.

They stared at each other for a moment before John Paul looked down, pushing his free hand into his pocket. When he looked up again he was smiling, this time much larger than before.

"Yeah, yeah I think we are."


	2. John Paul

"Oh." Craig said softly. He cleared his throat and nodded his head. "I thought you were. I, er, I saw you…" he trailed off, staring ahead of him, unwillingly to finish the rest of his sentence.

John Paul's face creased in puzzlement and his brow furrowed. "You saw me?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah. At the loft." Craig mumbled.

John Paul's face flushed guiltily. "Oh, right," he said, averting his eyes away from Craig's face. He could feel his face on fire and had no idea how to stop it burning. He tried to breathe slowly but his breath came out in hurried gulps. He wasn't sure why he felt so embarrassed, all he knew was that he suddenly felt incredibly self conscious.

"Spike seems like a cool guy," Craig carried on loudly, seemingly oblivious to John Paul's discomfort with the subject.

He smiled. "Yeah. He is."

"He's a DJ isn't he?"

"Yeah. He played at Jacqui's reception." John Paul said earnestly, frowning slightly at the horrible memory of his sister marrying the man that had been forced upon her.

"Yeah? Was he any good?" Craig asked.

John Paul nodded. "Better than I expected." And he had been. He'd been friendly too. After even more abuse from Sonny and his cronies at school it had been a relief to chat to someone who didn't judge him or actively seek to humiliate him at every possible chance. It had been nice to talk to someone who didn't want him to change to suit their own narrow perspectives of how life should be lived. Of course, John Paul mused, at the time he hadn't actually told Spike he was gay but he had had a feeling that this person was different. He wouldn't care that he would never settle down with a wife and have children scurrying around his feet. Spike wouldn't judge him for not even wanting those things. And he had been right. Spike had not only not cared he was gay but was actually gay himself. What more could John Paul want?

The moment this thought entered his brain he couldn't help but sneak a glance at his dark haired friend beside him. He knew he shouldn't still have feelings for Craig. After all, it was those feelings that had driven Craig to act with such malice towards him. It was those feelings that had ripped their friendship wide open. He shook his head. He shouldn't be thinking of Craig. He had Spike now, someone who he honestly really liked. Spike was his gateway to a whole new world of emotion and freedom like he had never experienced before. He was sure that with time it would be Spike that would help him to forget the feelings he had for Craig.


	3. Memories

"I love you, John Paul," he had said. It was one of many lines said that night. He didn't remember them all – he couldn't remember most of what had happened that night, but he remembered looking into John Paul's eyes and telling him that. The night of the dance, when it all went so wrong.

The bitter smell of alcohol pigmenting his skin. Laughter. Laughter spilling from his mouth as he grabbed on to John Paul's suit. Frowns and smiles intertwined with looks of confusion. The feel of John Paul's suit, soft to his touch, beneath his fingers. The echo of his words as they rang throughout the gym. John Paul's hot breath on his face and the sudden urge to act out of character. He had kissed him then, felt John Paul's lips met his for a moment. A snapshot in time.

Flashes of images ran through his head; beer, lights, darkness and Hannah. Crying.

What had he done? What had they done?

The hazy mist of alcohol that had intoxicated his brain held tighter. He didn't understand what was going on. He had turned to John Paul in hope of realisation but he wasn't looking at him. He gaze fell to Sarah and Hannah. They looked shocked, appalled. He frowned. Why were they looking at him like that?

"Are you okay, love?" His mum shouted up at him.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

He was laid on bed, staring at his white ceiling. Ever since that night, the kiss, a niggling feeling at the back of head taunted him. John Paul may have kissed him back but he had kissed him first.

What did it all mean? Did he feel something for John Paul?

At school, accusations that he was gay had followed him wherever he went. He couldn't be gay; he didn't want to be gay. And so he had lashed out, he hadn't meant to hurt John Paul or encourage the bullying but he had had to show them he wasn't gay. What was it his mum used to tell him? Something about only hurting the ones closest to you.

He screwed his eyes shut tight. Other the past weeks he had come to the conclusion that he did feel something towards John Paul but he was sure it was just friendship. After all, John Paul was his first best friend, the first person outside his family he could really relax around. Then again, he thought, he'd never had a real friend before, so how could he be sure his feelings were just that of a friend?

Oh well, it didn't matter anyway. John Paul had Spike now.


End file.
